At first glance, the
movie Friends with Benefits, starring
Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, appears to break the mold of romantic comedies
by presenting a realistic depiction of the complicated nature of modern
romantic relationships. Jamie, a New York City headhunter played by Kunis,
recruits Dylan, an art director played by Timberlake, to work for GQ in NYC.
The two become fast friends, and after discussing mutual interest in having
sexual relations with no strings attached, they begin a new relationship as
friends with benefits. After a while, Jamie decides that she prefers emotional
connections to purely physical ones, and begins dating. After a rough breakup
with her boyfriend Parker, Dylan offers to help Jamie recover by inviting her
to spend a weekend with him and his family in LA. Jamie and Dylan become very
close while Dylan’s home, and end up sleeping together- this time, with strings
attached. The next morning, however, Jamie overhears Dylan saying that he
doesn’t have feelings for her. Jamie is upset, tells Dylan she doesn’t want to
be friends anymore, and goes back to New York. Dylan ends up having a
conversation with his Alzheimer’s-stricken father, who tells Dylan of a
long-lost love. This changes Dylan’s mind about Jamie, and he goes to New York to
win her back. The movie ends with the two going on a real date, happy and in
love.
Scene 1-
Let’s Play Tennis
Friends with Benefits is, at its core, a romance film.
However, it doesn’t start out this way. Early
in the movie, Dylan and Jamie watch a romantic movie together. They respond to
the big kiss at the end with cynicism, questioning why movies don’t include the
drama and emotions that are attached to relationships. Jamie begins to wish
aloud that she could just have sex, and Dylan agrees. He suggests that sex
should be like a game of tennis, where the partners “shake hands, get on with
their shit.” Jamie gets up to go to the kitchen, and Dylan steals a look at her
butt, clearly entertaining thoughts of hooking up with Jamie. Dylan then says
to Jamie, “Let’s play tennis,” suggesting that the two begin a
friends-with-benefits relationship.
This
scene is unique in its depiction of a friendship between genders. Jamie and
Dylan are seen as equals, with no apparent gender roles present. The two are
participating in the same activity (watching a movie), drinking the same drink
(beer), and expressing the same thoughts and opinions. Isolated from the rest
of the movie, this scene is remarkably progressive in its presentation of a
male/female romantic friendship- with one noticeable exception. Dylan is the
one to suggest that the two begin a friends-with-benefits relationship, which suggests
that men are supposed to want and initiate sex. Jamie accepts his offer after a
little hesitation, implying that she is the gatekeeper of sex. However, much of
this scene is based around the equal partnership between Jamie and Dylan.
This
scene is reminiscent of Markle’s content analysis done on Sex and the City, which examines the theory that women can have sex
like a man. This theory suggests that “sex like a man” is casual, with no emotions
or strings attached. The study found that for most of the series, the women in Sex and the City did engage in sex that
was recreational and noncommittal (Markle 2008). Additionally, sex on the show was experienced
mostly for pleasure or entertainment (Markle 2008). These findings are consistent with
the “Let’s Play Tennis” scene in Friends
with Benefits. Markle suggests that the attitudes towards sex on Sex and the City are representative of
new cultural attitudes towards the act of sex for women. In the FWB scene, Jamie expresses her own
desire for recreational, pleasurable sex, similar to the women on the show, but
the actual advance is made by Dylan, which is not consistent with the findings
in Markle’s article. On SATC, the women were frequently depicted making sexual
advances towards men (Markle 2008). However, as a whole, this scene is very
representative of the sexual scripts of sex meant purely for physical pleasure,
with no consequences, and having equal effects between men and women, similar
to SATC.
Scene 2-
Airport Lunch
Later
in the film, both character’s mindsets have significantly shifted. Jamie is
hurt by Dylan’s apparent lack of feelings for her, and Dylan is confused by his
own emotions. In the film’s pivotal scene, Dylan enjoys lunch with his father
at the airport. Dylan’s father has Alzheimer’s, and is not wearing pants in
this scene. Dylan takes off his own pants in solidarity with his father. His
dad then mistakes a young woman in the airport for “Didi,” which Dylan asks
about. His father explains that Didi was the love of his life, a woman he met
in the Navy and the one that got away. Dylan realizes that he needs to make
things right with Jamie, because she is his Didi.
This
scene is more in line with traditional gender stereotypes when it comes to
relationships. It suggests that Jamie is not in control of the situation, and
that she should wait for Dylan to sweep her off her feet. Likewise, Dylan has
the power in what happens with their relationship, and is obligated to win
Jamie over. Based on these observations, Friends
with Benefits communicates that men are the decision-makers in
relationships, and that women should simply wait for the men to come after
them.
Dylan’s
conversation with his father is very reflective of Anne Bader’s findings in her
article “Love Will Steer the Stars.” This study identified love myths in music,
but many of these scripts are found in Friends
with Benefits, particularly in this scene. The codes parallel to Bader’s
findings are that “the right mate ‘completes you’- filling your needs are
making your dreams come true,” “bickering and fighting a lot mean that a man and
a woman really love each other passionately,” “a woman should look like a model
or a centerfold,” and “your perfect partner is cosmically pre-destined” (Bader 2007). Dylan
feels empty without Jamie, and realizes that she completes him. They split
because of a huge fight that occurred, but the core of this fight was the fact
that Jamie and Dylan love each other. Jamie is stunningly beautiful. Dylan’s
father expresses that Didi was “the one” and that if Dylan finds his soul mate,
to never let her go. Dylan realizes that Jamie is the only one for him. It is
interesting to note how different the scripts in this scene are compared to the
“Let’s Play Tennis” scene. As the movie progresses, it appears to shift its
ideals regarding relationships. It is also interesting how many of Bader’s
myths are present in this one scene, despite the fact that her study was done
in love songs, and this is a movie.
Scene 3-
Flash Mob
The
final scene of the movie is textbook romantic comedy. Jamie is supposed to meet
her mother at Grand Central Station, but is instead surprised by Dylan, who has
prepared an elaborate flash mob dancing to Jamie and his’ songs in an effort to
win Jamie back. He asks Jamie to be his best friend again, and Jamie is clearly
won over. She tells Dylan to kiss her, and he does. The two then head out to go
on their very first date.
With
this final scene, Friends with Benefits
sends a concluding message to viewers about how men and women should behave in
relationships. Dylan woos Jamie, apologizing, realizing and revealing his true
feelings for her in a grand romantic gesture. Jamie, on the other hand, is the
passive receiver of the flash mob, and happily accepts Dylan’s apology with a
kiss. This suggests that men should initiate romance, and women should be the
receivers. Additionally, the scene, along with the entire film, communicates
that women are more emotional and men more stoic, as Jamie realizes her
feelings for Dylan long before he reciprocates.
Dylan
and Jamie successfully execute a representation of the heterosexual script in
this scene. In her article “From Sex to Sexuality: Exposing the Heterosexual
Script on Primetime Network Television,” Janna Kim explains that the
heterosexual script can be broken down into multiple complementary codes. The
script present in this scene has to do with courting strategies employed by men
and women. Kim states that “men are protectors and providers in romantic
relationships, that they assert their power in the courting ritual by buying
gifts or showing off their physical strength, and that they are responsible for
making the first move in dating relationships” and that women wait to be
pursued by men (Kim 2007). In the flash mob scene, Dylan uses a grand romantic
gesture to win Jamie over, making the first move in a show-off kind of way.
Jamie is simply the passive receiver of Dylan’s advances, and by the end of the
scene, the two are clearly smitten. The outcome of this scene endorses the heterosexual
script by providing a happy ending to a relationship with stereotypical gender
roles.
Friends with
Benefits makes
an effort to portray what relationships are really like in the 21st
century- confusing, casual, noncommittal, and more equal between genders than
in the past. Through much of the movie, Jamie and Dylan exemplify these
characteristics in their relationship. However, the final takeaway is very
different, and much more typical of portrayals of relationships in media. After
ending their friends-with-benefits situation because Jamie wants more from a
relationship, the two only reconnect after Jamie’s boyfriend leaves her. Then
she falls for Dylan, while he still can’t come to terms with his true feelings
for her. Jamie is upset and leaves, and finally, Dylan realizes he loves her,
and wins her back. The outcome of FWB
suggests that men want and initiate sex, are not emotional, should make the
first move, and hold the power in relationships. It also communicates that
women are more emotional, always develop feelings from sex, and should wait for
men to make the first move. These conclusions are all consistent with the
heterosexual script. Kim outlines the heterosexual script by comparing expected
gender roles for men and women in heterosexual relationships, including
courting strategies, attitudes towards commitment, the sexual double standard,
etc. These include the ideas that women want relationships more than men, men
have to win women over, and that women are gatekeepers of sex (Kim 2007). These codes
are all present in FWB, which endorses
the heterosexual script. This is typical of romantic comedies, but FWB is potentially more consequential
for viewers, because it markets itself as offering a progressive, different
take on a romantic relationship, but then reverts back to stereotypes in the
end. Despite the perceived sexual freedom of Jamie and Dylan and their “equal”
partnership, Friends with Benefits
endorses many myths and codes within the heterosexual script that should not be
promoted.
References
Kim, J. L. (2007). From sex to sexuality:
exposing the heterosexual script on primetime network television. Journal of Sex Research, 44(2), 145-157.
Kunis, M., & Timberlake, J. (Actor). (2011). Friends with benefits [Motion picture]. US: Screen Gems.
Markle, G. (2008). ‘‘Can women have sex like a
man?’’: sexual scripts in sex and the city. Sexuality
and Culture‘, 12, 45-57.
